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For Parents Grieving the Loss of a Baby: Coping with Difficult News

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Updated: Jan 18


The recent news of the preventable deaths of 56 babies in Leeds has been devastating. If you have experienced the loss of a baby during pregnancy or infancy, it may have brought up painful emotions and memories for you. Whether your loss was recent or years ago, it’s common for big feelings to be triggered in response to events like this.


As a psychologist working with families in Leeds, I want to acknowledge the pain you may be experiencing. Grief and trauma are personal, and no two experiences are the same. Any emotion that shows up is valid, whether it’s sadness or anger or something else. Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, without judgment.


Below are just a few ideas to navigate these difficult emotions, but know that this is not an exhaustive list; do what works for you.


1. Take Time for Yourself


If the news feels overwhelming, it’s okay to step back. Limit your exposure to media and give yourself space to process your feelings. While it can be helpful to hear others experiences that are similar to yours, engaging in others pain constantly can make it harder for you to process your own experiences. It’s not selfish to prioritise your mental health.


2. Reach Out for Support


You don’t have to go through this alone; share your feelings with someone you trust. For some people, joining a support group for parents who have experienced loss is helpful. Talking to others who have lived and really understand your experience can help you find a way forwards. For others, you might want to reach out to your GP or another professional to talk things through. Remember that grief is a normal process but if you have been feeling very distressed for a long time, you may benefit from some additional support.


3. Honour Your Baby’s Memory


Find ways to remember your baby. This might be lighting a candle, creating a memory box, or planting a tree. This can make you feel connected to your child and help you to remember they are a part of you even though they’re no longer with you. Say their name out loud; don’t be afraid to talk to people about your baby when you’re ready to.


4. Be Kind to Yourself


Grief can take a toll on your body and mind. Rest, eat and sleep when you are able to. Find small moments of peace, whether that’s through a walk, journaling, or another way that you know helps you.


You Are Not Alone


If you need someone to talk to, there are many organisations that can provide support:

Sands (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Charity): www.sands.org.uk | 0808 164

Mind (Mental Health Support): www.mind.org.uk | 0300 123 3393

Samaritans (24/7 Helpline): www.samaritans.org | 116 123

Relate (Family and Relationship Support): www.relate.org.uk

Mindwell Leeds (Mental Wellbeing Support in Leeds): www.mindwell-leeds.org.uk

Birth Trauma Association (Birth Trauma Charity): www.birthtraumaassociation.org

Tommy’s (Baby Loss Charity): www.tommys.org



If you are processing the loss of your baby, experiencing grief around a loss or feeling distressed by this news, please know that there is help available. I work with many families on processing events like this and finding ways forward; please do get in touch if you need further support.

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